Reconciliation

I will admit, I have been avoiding publishing this post, but I believe it is time.

Talk about “return unto the land of thy fathers”, Gen 31:3. The Lord has so commanded me. This coming Friday, I will be leaving to Lebanon to visit my brother that I may attend His University graduation, but to also visit and reconcile with my earthly father, whom I have not seen in 8 years.

My relationship with him has been almost inexistent, and the way I can described it best is “undefined”. My biggest stumbling block, which I will have to face, is how can I forgive a man who does not admit he has been wrong. It’s not a question of love, I love Him, and He loves me. I do not know what it is and how I can fix it, other than to lean solely on my Heavenly Father’s wisdom. Urgh. (as my mother says), this is difficult just typing about it.

Not my will, but Thine, O Lord.

I am afraid that I will some day stand before Christ my Judge, and He will tell me that maybe my dad didn’t know any better, but I did. Therefore, I do want to reconcile things with him. Yep, this has always been my biggest fear. I have avoided this trip as best as I could, but that is displeasing to the Lord, and now, the Lord will be my strength and He will teach me not to fear and to be bold as a lion. This is the Lord’s will.

I am very excited to visit the rest of my family, whom I have also not seen in so long a time. I know the Lord’s hand is in this, and it will be well. Besides, the trip is only for two weeks. I will be leaving on June 16, and will return on July 3, which happens to be my birthday, oh and my brother’s too. YEP! He is turning 24, and I am turning 22. My mother has always had such good timing. Did I mention that big brother and I are coming back together, and this time, he not returning to Lebanon. Also, I will have internet access in Lebanon, though I will not be as frequent as I am now. I will, whenever I can, publish a post to let you know how my trip is going.

I know it wills God that I honour my father and fix things with Him. I know that after this, I only have good things to look forward to. It’s just taking that initial step, that Faith step. In all sincerity, that which I am looking forward to the most, is turning the page on what has been a long and draining history book.

Phi 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

I wish to ask for your prayers, mainly for my dad, and my unsaved family, that the Lord can use my brother and I to win them to Christ. I also ask if you could, to please pray for my brother (Rev. 2:17). He is the one that is heeding to God’s call and leaving His country in search of God’s will. Please pray that the Lord will guide Him that He may use Him in His service.

Isa 42:16 And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.

There it is, I have shared. It really wasn’t so bad. I thank you in advance for your prayers, they are needed!

Psa 18:2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower

Psa 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.